No One Has To Know
by Paine3
Summary: Continuation of 'Stupid', during and after the wedding. Full Summary Inside...
1. Watch What You Say: Part 1

Yeah, so I did it, and so soon after saying so... I thought it would be a good idea – even if it is not completely original. Oh well!

This is the continuation of Stupid but there is also another important thing: the events of Not Much of A Father have occurred in this story's universe. So that means Lulu has told Paine that Auron isher father. Whether everyone else knows that little fact, I have not decided – although it is safe to assume that Paine has told Baralai. **This may or may not be an important part of this story.**

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Full Summary:

When Paine collapses from stress on the way Baralai's wedding reception she is forced to confess the facts about their affair to a certain black mage. Lulu, in turn, confesses something to Paine that the warrior would rather forget. Realizing that this could cost the young woman her life, the two decide – against Lulu's better judgment – that no one has to know. Not even Baralai...

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"By the power invested in me by the order of New Yevon..."

His eyes met mine, and I gave a nod and a warm smile. Fake. My heart was breaking inside. His frown only made me feel worse... He was not happy. He was hurting. And I was sitting here, just sitting here, and doing nothing about it. I just sat, and smiled. I had done so through the entire wedding... I had not spoken up for what I believed was be right. He had told me not to, but I had insisted that I should. I knew that "Don't" meant "I would die if you don't..." I knew that... But I still did not stand, I did not say, "I object to this! This is stupid, this is not right! I love this man, and I want to be with him! Let _me _marry him...!"

Why hadn't I done it? It was simply because I was scared. I was scared of what Spira would think of me, what Yuna and Rikku would think of me, what Gippal and Nooj and Tidus, and Wakka and Lulu would think of me... I was afraid of what the New Yevon guards would _do_ to me. If I had confessed to my affair with the Praetor, if I yelled in front of everyone that the two of us were having an affair, and that we had dated behind their backs...

What if was to scream that the Praetor was my _boyfriend?_ Would Spira laugh at me? Would they think I was insane? Would they think that I was lying about it? And if they did... would he stand up for me? I was afraid. There had been too many questions and too much doubt.

My fear had condemned my love.

He stared at me still. His eyes were not fixed on anyone or anything except me. I continued to smile weakly back at him. But I know he saw the tear in my eye, and I know he saw it fall. No one else noticed. He always noticed things about me that no one else did...

"...I now pronounce you _husband_ and _wife_."

I looked away from him, folding my arms across my lap and biting my lip. Rikku was sitting next to me in the pew, crying. Yuna and she were so happy for the couple. I tried not to think about it. I tried to focus my thoughts on last night. How happy Baralai and I were last night, together. _Alone_... How I had leaned against his shoulder while he leaned against the headboard, and we had talked. We talked while he ran a hand absentmindedly though my hair. We had talked about nicer things than the wedding, things that made us happy. Then he had asked me to tell him everything that was bothering me... So I did. I asked him for the first time, "_Why did you take that kiss further, 'Lai...? Why did you do it? Did you love me, even back then?_"

"_No_," was his reply. It was the one that I had been expecting. "_No, I didn't think I loved anyone back then. I may have, _maybe_, had a little crush on Yuna... maybe... You though... I loved you like you were my sister, and my best friend. But I was so depressed, and upset, and no one would seem to comfort me, because they all thought that I was happy. I could not tell anyone the truth... Then you came to my office, and demanded an explanation. You had known that the engagement was a hoax. You had known instantly that there was something fishy going on and you had demanded that I tell you what was happening. When I did... That look on your face... You were concerned for me. You were hurting... for me... 'I-I'm... sorry,' you said. I was so taken aback by it... I had always suspected, but never known, how much you really cared about people – about me, Paine... _

_Then you hugged me around my shoulders... Had you ever even done that to anyone before? When you took my face in your hands, I felt like such a child! You wiped my tears away... You told me that everything would turn out fine, and that you would always be there for me. When you kissed me, Paine... Just that little sign of how much you cared... I guess my insides simply exploded. I knew that there was something between you and I that was not friendship – maybe it had always been there, or maybe it had not... I may not have fallen in love with you that night, but sometime in between then and now... I knew that you would always be there for me, and that I always wanted to be there for you. I wanted you to be the one I woke up to every morning, and not just a friend whose company I enjoyed. I wanted you to be that special person with whom I would spend forever with..._"

What better explanation was there? I had smiled and kissed his collar bone after he had finished. Then he had asked me about the first time that I felt I was in love with him. I told him. "_Every time I tried to walk away... Every night that I woke up in the middle of the night and thought about how terrible our relationship was... When I stood and tried to dress so that I could leave... I could never do it. I always looked back at you, and I just could not do it. I couldn't bear_ _it...! I had to be with you_. _I _have_ to be with you..._"

"You may now kiss the bride." Cheers and applause met with this last sentence. I could not watch them kiss. But I knew it had happened, because the cheers became deafening. I kept my eyes down as Baralai took his new bride by the hand, and the two walked down the isle together. I was happy that I did not have an isle seat for the ceremony. If I had there was no way that I could have been capable of keeping my stoic composure.

That other me, the one that the world knew, that my friends knew – she was nothing more than a shadow now. She was a fake. Faux Paine. I had been looking for my old self, the one from the Crimson Squad, the happy one, the one who wanted to play little jokes on Nooj with Gippal, who wanted to sit on the deck and stargaze, or scare Baralai to death by walking on the plank and diving into the ocean while the ship was still moving. I had wanted to find the me who had loved to sit on the Bikanel shore, and simply talk to Baralai about the most random things, like 'why is sand this color', 'why did Sin exist', 'how did Spira come about'...

Baralai had found her. He had rescued her. She had been dying, and he brought her back to life. He gave her a reason to exist... He had saved me.

"Paine... Paine, are you okay?" A hand waved in front of my face and I blinked. I looked up at Yuna and Rikku who were standing over me. It had been Yuna who had spoken, and she looked rather concerned.

"Yeah...?" I whispered.

"Are you okay, Painey?" Rikku repeated for her cousin. "You don't look so good – you look kind of pale." She snickered at her own joke. I only scowled.

"The wedding is over, we have to get to the reception quickly," Yuna explained.

"Yay, free food!" Rikku shouted to the entire hall, which still had some people in it. Most all stared at Rikku with dirty looks, and I doubted the looks came only because of her outburst... People _swore_ that they 'accepted' Al Bheds... Lying sons of freakin' bitches... One man passed by Rikku, Yuna and I as we stepped into the isle. I heard him mutter something under his breath. I caught his exact words, and I know that Rikku had heard it too, because her smile faded, and she fell back in step with Yuna and me.

I was not going to let him get away with that... No, he was going to pay for saying that about my best friend.

When we reached the large temple doors I grabbed the little man by the throat and slammed him against the wall. I held him up with one hand and listened to him gag in surprise, and he stared down at me like I was insane, while trying to pry my hand from his neck. I refused to let go. "Do you want to say that again, you son of a bitch!? Do you want to say that to my face, you coward!?"

"Paine!" Yuna shouted. "What are you doing?! Let him down!"

"Paine," I did not recognize the voice. It was calm and very serious. Then I realized that it was Rikku. "_Mad res tufh, ed'c ugyo! Drana ec hu buehd eh kaddehk yhkno fedr res!_" I registered the words, almost as if they were spoken in English. My prisoner was kicking against my shins, but I glared at him with my red eyes and he fell limp, and instead only shook with fear.

"'No point in getting angry with him'!?" I laughed maliciously, my face turning red. "Rikku, are you mad!? _Drec syh ec y vemdo pycdynt! Ra ryc hu nekrd du cyo druca drehkc ypuid oui! Hu uha cyoc cusadrehk mega dryd ypuid so vneaht... yht kadc yfyo fedr ed, tu oui rayn sa_!?"

Rikku grabbed my arm tightly, and hissed, "_Fryd eh Yevon's hysa tu oui bmyh du bnuja...? Vemdo pycdynt ra ec, E'mm ytsed ed, pid rindehk res fuh'd tu yhodrehk! Paine... bid res **tufh**, bid res tufh un E'mm syga oui bid res tufh!_" I could not help but laugh with spite. _"Put him **down**, put him down or I'll make you put him down!" _Was she serious!?

"_Caneuicmo? __Ec dryd y drnayd, **bnehlacc**_..." I asked her.

"_Oac_..." I looked at Rikku with surprise. She was glaring at me with her little, green, swirled eyes. Her voice held a tone of venom in it that I had never heard before. This man had called her a filthy whore _and_ a gluttonous heathen, for no reason at all! Yet she was standing up for him to the point that she would threaten her friend... threaten _me_? I looked back at him, and saw his fear filled eyes darting between the two of us, wondering what it was we were saying about him to one another.

"_Veha_..." I sighed, dropping him. "_E'mm mad oui feh drec desa..._" Rikku released my arm as well, and smiled warmly, stepping away from me.

"_Dryhg oui..._" she whispered. "What had happened? I had wanted to kill this man. I was ready to choke the filthy life out of him. I would have never snapped like that before. I would have never...

I realized I was wound too tight because of this wedding... I was too upset. I needed some air. I had to get away from everyone. I needed my space. I can not remember the last time that I had spent time in the air, by myself. I felt too claustrophobic. My chest was constricted, and I had trouble catching my breath. Something was wrong with me...

The man muttered something as he turned his back on me and began to walk away. I heard him... I heard him. "_Demon... those eyes... like a demon...! She speaks to that heathen like a friend... I didn't need that whore's help... no_.."

"Why you little-!"

"PAINE!" Rikku grabbed my wrist as I raised it angrily. He looked over his shoulder at me, a smirk of triumph on his lips. Then he walked away towards the reception hall. I turned angrily back to Rikku.

"Why did you stop me!? You heard what he said about you! You heard what he said about me!? How could you just take that!?" I exploded in her face. "He deserved to be... Argh!" I wanted to tear my hair out. I ran my gloved fingers through my hair as Rikku watched me pace back and forth a few times. I was so upset...! I swore angrily.

I could not breathe! I had to get away... I felt the tears welling up inside, threatening to just burst out of me. My secret was now like a weight on my heart, which was beating too fast...

"Damn it," I whispered to no one. "Damn it all! Stupid... stupid _shit_..."

"Paine..." said Rikku quietly, "Paine, what is the matter...?!" I stopped pacing, and stared up at the ceiling of the large corridor we now stood in.

_What's wrong...? What's wrong!? I'll tell you what the hell is wrong! _

I could not take it anymore! I turned to Rikku and Yuna. Yuna, the most popular woman on earth, married to the love of her life – it had worked out for them. And Rikku... _Princess_ Rikku... the–

My eyes landed on Rikku's left hand. The large rock on her ring finger... That had not been there yesterday, had it? I had never seen it before. But I knew what it was. I opened my mouth to ask her about it...

"Paine!" I clutched my stomach, hunching over. I opened my mouth to speak or to scream, but my words died. My jaw was numb and my throat burned. I threw up on the marble floor. "Oh Yevon..." Rikku reached me before Yuna did, since she was closer. She put her arms around my shoulders. My legs had gone numb, I could not feel them, and I could hardly feel my arms by now. The small blond was holding me up, solely by herself.

"Paine!" Yuna called my name, and then she began to panic. "Tidus! Tidus! Gippal! Someone, help!" She rushed up to me and felt my forehead. "She's burning up...!" she exclaimed.

I felt like throwing up again. My stomach was hurting like it was on fire. It felt empty, which would make throwing up again feel even more terrible...

"Yuna, get Lulu...!" Rikku said quickly to her cousin. I heard Yuna agree, but I did not see her rush off. My eyes were clouding over, and suddenly I could not see at all. I felt my shoulder hit the ground, and my head bashed into the floor.

"_Move out of the way_!"

"_Gippal-_!"

"_What happened here?! Rikku, are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine, it's Paine! Look at her, she's fainted, we have to get her to the hospital!"_

_No... No, I can't go to a hospital..._ I wanted to tell Rikku not to take me to the hospital, I was fine! I could manage. I felt someone lift me from the floor. I opened my eyes, just a little. My vision was only slightly clearer than it had been. I saw a dark face above me, with light hair. "B-B-Baralai...?" I groaned out loud. No... It was only Gippal...

My eyes closed again, and I passed out in Gippal's arms.


	2. Watch What You Say: Part 2

"_Everyone out, now!_ _She needs her space... Just get out of here, and let me take care of her._"

"_But I-I can help-"_

"_Yuna, let me handle this... Trust me. Go to the reception, and be with your husband. Rikku you too, go be your fiancé. Go! Now! Tell Wakka I'll be down there as soon as I can, okay..._? _Do you understand?"_

"_Yes..."_

"_Then go." _

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times. I could barely see. I knew I was on a bed, it was soft and comfortable, and the blankets were warm... This felt so much like Baralai's bed.

Baralai...

"Paine." There was suddenly added pressure on the bed as someone sat down. Their cold hand brushed my messy, grey hair gently out of my face. Then they placed a wet cloth on my forehead and held it there. "Paine, can you look at me?"

I groaned, recognizing the voice as I turned my head towards the black haired young mother. Sighing, a stupid smile found its way onto my face. "Hey... Lu..." I tried to sit up, but Lulu pushed me back down. Too weak to resist, I settled back into the bed.

"Paine, you fainted," Lulu informed me. I laughed.

"I know," I replied. I felt high. Was I on drugs? Ha-ha... ha-ha-ha... Yeah, I probably was. Ha... Yeah, I felt too good to not be drugged. There was no pain in my body. Was it painkillers then? I giggled again stupidly.

Then Lulu asked me a question I had not expected, "Who is he?" I stared at her with a confused look on my face. I had to be high, I could not think straight.

"Who?" I asked her. Lulu shook her head, sighing. She stood up, walking around the bed. My red eyes followed her. I again tried to push myself up when she snapped at me to stay down. Lulu had never snapped at me before. Actually, I had never seen the woman angry before today. She looked rather agitated.

The desk she was now standing next had a mess of bottles on it. Lulu stood over them, a finger on her lips, thinking. Then she snatched up a clear bottle with sparkling clear liquid sloshing around inside of it. She walked over to me again. "Here," she whispered. "Drink this." I took it, and drank it like she ordered me to.

It burned my mouth and I immediately tossed the bottle away. Before I could spit out the foul stuff Lulu covered my mouth and pushed me back onto the bed. I screamed into her hand, and she struggled to keep me down. It stung the insides of my cheeks. It hurt! Suddenly all the pain came back, in my throat and in my head, and more importantly in my stomach. Was she trying to kill me!?

"Swallow it!" she barked. I glared at her, shaking my head and kicking my legs against the bed. "Swallow it!" I actually tried to bite her fingers. "Swallow it, or I won't let go!" I felt too weak to continue struggling against her, and finally swallowed the burning liquid she had _tricked_ into my mouth. Lulu let go instantly, and I yelled out in pain. I could feel the potion working its way down my esophagus. Then the stinging eased slightly, but then I felt my stomach writhe.

I rolled over and threw up over the side of the bed. Lulu handed me a rag as I lay back down, and I used it to wipe my mouth. "W-What was that for...?" Lulu smiled and sat back down at the foot of my bed. She waved her hand in the direction of where I had puked, and I knew she was casting a spell to clean up the mess.

"Gippal..." she sighed. "He panicked and thought that an Al Bhed potion would help settle your stomach... so he and Rikku gave you about four." That explained why I had felt the way I had.

"Don't they?" I asked. I was sure that that was what most Al Bhed type potions were used for. And who knew Al Bhed potions more than an Al Bhed?

"Yes," said Lulu. She looked troubled about something.

"Then... what's the problem?" Lulu simply fetched another potion bottle and handed it to me. I was cautious to drink it, but my stomach was aching and growling because it was empty.

"There had been no problem, until I actually took a look at you," said the mage. "That is a safe potion," she said, gesturing to the purple bottle in my hand. "It won't hurt you like the Al Bhed one would have..."

"Why would it have hurt me?!" I demanded. "I take them all the time!"

"When was the last time you had one," Lulu asked me quickly, her eyes and voice were blank.

"You expect me to remember that!?"

"Paine," she snapped. "Calm down, you are in no condition to be shouting right now... Now please, try to remember. Have you had an Al Bhed potion in the past three weeks that you can recall?"

"No," I said. I was almost certain that I had not. I had not done much lately, no sphere hunts or anything. Our last hunt had been a month ago, actually – things were slower now. How could I have forgotten? "Now tell me why..."

"Drink up first, and then I'll tell you," said Lulu. I rolled my eyes, and swallowed the whole potion in one gulp. Lulu was right, it did help. "Paine," she said cautiously. "What Gippal had done was fine, that is until I examined you closer." She looked me straight in the eye and told me, "The specific type of Al Bhed potion he used on you is not to be used on women who are pregnant."

"So...?"

"I thought that you would have known, but apparently not. Paine... you are three weeks pregnant..."

My first instinct was to simply laugh in her face. "This is a joke, right?" I grinned. "I can't be... I can't be pregnant. It's not possible." I shook my head. But Lulu looked very serious, her face was set. My stupid grin faded. This was bad, if it was true. This was very bad... There was only one person who could possibly be the father of this child.

"Who is he, Paine...? I'm assuming that if you didn't know that he did not either," said Lulu. "He deserves to know about his child."

"How can you be sure!?" I cried. "How can you know for sure!? This has to be a mistake!"

"I am one-hundred percent sure..." said Lulu. I covered my face with my hands. Lulu did nothing, except place her hand on my knee in a comforting gesture.

"I'm not ready for this..." I whispered. I felt sick. This could not be happening! How could I possibly be...? 'Lai and I, we were careful! We never...

"It will be okay, Paine. Wakka and I had not planned on Vidina," Lulu told me. "But it all turned out alright."

"No!" I sobbed, staring at her with wide, watery eyes. "It's Baralai!" Lulu looked as shocked as I had expected the mage to look – which, compared to someone like Yuna, was not very shocked at all. In a second she had recovered, and appeared serene again.

"Are you sure," she whispered in a low voice.

"What do you think I am? Some kind of _whore_!?" I snapped. "Yes, it has to be 'Lai! There's no one else it could be!" Lulu instructed me to calm down, and I leaned back against the headboard, taking deep, calming breaths. This was too much. Not on his _wedding_ _day_...

She scooted closer to the front of the bed, and sat down right next to me. I leaned against her shoulder and cried. I had to cry, and she understood. She did not ask questions. She stayed silent while I sobbed all my heartache out. I had never cried so much in my entire life.

Baralai was married. He had a wife now. He was obligated... obligated to have a _legacy_. A child. He was supposed to have a child with his wife, not with Sir Auron's unknown and _illegitimate_ daughter – an orphaned tomboy Baralai had met on a boat three years ago. He was to have a child with his well-mannered, beautiful, rich, priestess wife – a young woman with two _living_ parents, who were _married_, and had never broken Yevon law in their lifetime.

If anyone found out that I was now carrying the Praetor's illegitimate child... what would happen to me!? What would... what would happen to my baby?

Wow... maternal instincts kicked in fast.

I know what would happen. I had dated the Praetor of New Yevon for over six months, in that time I had learned all about the inner workings of this faction. It was truly a mess. That was not Baralai's doing, it his not fault. He was one man. There was no way in hell that he had the power to fix an association which had been born corrupted.

If there was a threat to New Yevon's perfect Eternal Calm... they would destroy it.

I knew that from experience. When Yuna, Rikku and I had threatened to expose Vegnagun... they had had Baralai try and stop us, even if he had to _kill_ us.

"How long have you two been together?" asked Lulu finally.

"Since the engagement was announced... seven months," I admitted. I then began to confess everything to her. The arranged marriage, our affair, everything.

_Yevon... I'm _pregnant"This is not good. What am I going to do?" I asked the wise older woman, my hand covering my stomach protectively. "I can't tell Baralai. New Yevon won't allow me to have it... They'll kill me! They'll kill my child! I won't let them!" I had never felt this way before. I had never planned on being a mother. Now I was on my way to become one, and my life was now in danger because of it.

"He has to know..." Lulu said. "You have to tell him."

"No," I replied darkly, closing my eyes. "No one has to know..." I sat up and looked at her. "Lulu, can you help me? I can't handle a pregnancy by myself. I don't have a home, or money. I live off of the Gullwings... and we haven't had a hunt for a month! There's no way that we can survive like this for much longer..." Lulu put a hand on my shoulder, and gave me an encouraging smile.

"I think I have a plan..." she whispered.

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There are the first two chapters, which together set up the rest of the story.


	3. He Is My Father

I wanted to update quickly, so I did. This is not the best chapter, especially not for Paine/Baralai-ness probably. I dunno, really. There is not a lot of action, it's kind of still building up – I'm going slowly with this. I'm not the best at 1st person POV, I just write it how I would think it if I was in this position, and I tried my best. Really I did.

Next chapter will be better. This is just an, I guess you could call it an 'establishing chapter'. I dunno… maybe it'll make sense at the end, maybe. I'm establishing things, yeah that's it. What? Well that would ruin it if I told you, wouldn't it. I don't know if there is enough Paine and Baralai fluffiness in here for all you big fans out there reading this. There will be _next _chapter, as well as more… other stuff… I'll try to update quicker if you all wish – I'm late on this because I just kept putting it off and then my computer suddenly broke.

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Lulu decided that I was 'too sick' to attend the reception. I helped decide that for her. I did not want to go... I could not face Baralai, but more importantly I could not face his wife. I knew that if I showed my face she would want to hug me and make sure I was feeling okay, and then I would have to give a toast to everyone – _including _every single important New Yevon priest...

Listen to me... When did I become such a scaredy-cat?

I sat in Lulu and Wakka's hotel room in Bevelle, while she is in the bathroom for a moment. She decided to stay with me instead of going on to the celebration. She had said it was because she did not think the wedding was really anything to celebrate, now that she knew the truth about it. Lulu may not have expressed it in her body language or words, but I knew she was deeply troubled by what New Yevon had done to 'Lai.

Coming from the woman who had once said to Tidus that you did not always have to marry for love... (Tidus had mentioned it during the reception at _his _wedding)

It was good to know that Lulu was there for me. Even before I knew her she was protecting me. She saved my life when I was in the Crimson Squad, after I made it out of the Den, and she saved my life after I was shot by Nooj – Shuyin, actually, if I want to be completely correct. If it had not been for Lulu I would not be alive, and I would not have had the chance to know who my father was. She was a good friend. The first person I ever really trusted after the Squad…

She walked back into the room, with a glass of tap water in her hand. "First you make me throw up my guts, then you give me something that tasted like flan, and now you're making me drink sewer water?" I joked, taking the glass from her. She again sat down at the foot of the bed and watched me, to make sure that I would drink it.

"How exactly do you know what flan tastes like?" she asked. I turned red.

"Lost a bet..." I mumbled. "It was during the Squad... Stupid Gippal... once you taste flan you _never _forget it..." She nodded.

"You've thrown up twice now, you need the hydration," she said, pointing at the water glass. "Besides, I purified it."

"You couldn't have just hit me with a water spell? I'd be hydrated a lot faster. And I'd be clean too," I grinned. She smiled and softly laughed, even though it was not very funny.

"That Baralai sure did a number on you, Paine," she replied. I frowned and looked away, taking another sip of my water. "Sorry... I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's alright," I interrupted. "I've realized it a lot myself lately. I have been, well, _different_. I guess Baralai is to thank – or is it to blame?" I asked, running a finger around the rim of the glass. I had always thought of it of a good thing, but who knows...

"Change can always be a good thing," said Lulu, "it all depends on how you see it." I downed the rest of the water in one final gulp and Lulu reached for the glass. I gave it to her, and she stood up again.

"My life has gone to shit..." I mumbled. I knew I should not cuss so much, it is just a bad habit I have. _I should have just stopped the wedding... What had I been so afraid of, really? _

"'Life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life,'" Lulu said as she placed the glass on the desk with all of her potion bottles. "A wise man said that to someone who turned out to be a very brave young man… and all because of a little change in his life."

"Really," I said blandly, one of my hands back on my stomach. Was it just my imagination or could I feel a tiny bump there?

"Yes ma'am," she said, nodding and folding her arms, leaning against the table. "You're father was a great man, Paine." I smiled, but this one was more like a wince.

"I wish I had a chance to know for myself..." I said.

_What about my son or daughter...? They would want to know their father too. _

I pushed the thought from my mind. No one has to know... I'll find a way to raise him or her myself... "So," I said to Lulu. "You said that you had a plan... What is it? I can't just walk around for nine months, someone is bound to notice... and there is no way that I can just go away for that long... I have Baralai to-"

"Are you and Baralai still planning on being together?" asked Lulu quickly. I nodded.

"Yes..." I said. "I love him, Lu, married or not. I can't _not _be with him. It doesn't work that way. Believe me I've tried, but it just can't happen."

"He loves you too...?"

"Yes," I repeated. She nodded in understanding.

"I know..."

"You know?" I asked, confused. She avoided my eyes, and instead stared towards the closed window.

"I could always tell. Over the past few months, whenever I saw you two together, it was obvious that there was something going on," she admitted. "I don't know why I didn't put two and two together."

"Because you assumed that I was too good of a person to do something like that..." I said bitterly. "That's why..." Lulu did not answer to that.

"I think that you need to come live with me," she said finally. My jaw dropped. _That _was her big plan? Her great idea was for me to come live with her and her _husband _and_ child _in a small, tiny hut? They barely had enough room for themselves! And what reason would I have to come live with them?!

"Yeah, that'll work," I said sarcastically, folding my arms as well. "People will know that something is up."

"Not if we have a reason," said Lulu, still staring at the window. She stood up and walked towards it. I knew she was thinking, but it looked creepily as if she was in some kind of trance. "Yuna has already left the Gullwings... so it won't be as suspicious if you take a 'leave of absence'."

"But Brother won't let me take a leave of absence unless I have a good excuse," I pointed out. Brother was already pissed enough now that Yuna had mostly left Sphere Hunting to support her husband in his Blitz career. There was no way he would take me stepping off the ship. Then there was Buddy and Rikku, and of course there was Shinra.

"You'll have a good excuse," said Lulu vaguely. "You'll be coming to study magic under me." I opened my mouth to retort but then I took a moment to think about what she had said. That was actually not a bad idea. It was actually rather convincing. Not to sound too egotistical but I am already very accomplished when it comes to handling weapons, but my magical skills could use some work, even with my garment grid – everyone knew so, they just never said anything about it because they knew I would hit them for it. And who better to teach me than Lulu – coincidentally the only person who knew my secret? That was a very good idea. I liked it. And Yuna and Tidus were heading to Luca soon for something to do with Blitzball, so they would not be around to really get suspicious...

"What about 'Lai, when do you think I'll be able see him?" I asked.

"That you may have to cut back a little on," she told me. "Now that he is married, and you're... _expecting_... and now that you two will live on opposite sides of Spira, it will be hard for you to see one another. You two must tread carefully." I was not happy, but I understood. I had known from the beginning that we could not see each other as often as we had. "You won't be _living _with me in the house. We don't really have the room for another body... You may have to sleep in the Temple, in one of those two side rooms. Would that be okay by you?" she asked me. She was giving this a lot of thought, I could tell.

"It's perfectly fine with me," I said. "As long as it's quiet and comfortable, and private..."

"Yes," she whispered. "We'll have to find you new clothes as well..." She stayed silent, thinking, for a little longer. Then she clapped her hands together (which creepily reminded me of Yuna – talk about _scary_)and turned to me, saying, "Then it's settled."

0o0o0o0o0

Lulu and I reached the reception by the time it was over, thankfully. Yuna, Rikku, Tidus and Gippal were bidding the newlyweds goodbye before they went to check out of the hotel. Wakka had already left to begin packing for him, his wife (Vidina was back at Besaid being babysat by a friend) – I knew this because we had passed him on the way here.

"Thank you all for coming," I heard Baralai tell our friends.

"Yes," said his beautiful new wife, "it meant a lot to us..." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as Lulu and I made our way over to them. Baralai's own eyes seemed to light up when he saw me, and I guessed that mine did the same

"Painey!" Rikku exclaimed, hugging me. "You're okay!" She seemed back to her ordinary self again. Once she had let go I was clapped on the back by her fiancé.

"I knew you'd be fine, Dr. P," he said. "You always are. I was so _not _worried... one bit, nope, not at all." Yuna simply smiled at me, putting an arm around Tidus who gave me encouraging look. I turned my attention to Baralai who was had not taken his eyes off of me since I had arrived. He had a content look on his face, and a gentle smile, and his eyes were slightly misted over. I grinned inwardly – I knew what he was probably thinking about... It almost made me blush.

Then I looked to his left. "Emi," I said, nodding to her. She smiled warmly, but her dark eyes were cold. She was a very nice woman, very sweet. Actually she was almost _too _sweet sometimes.

"Paine," she said kindly. "I hope you are feeling better... I heard about how you collapsed."

"Nothing to worry about," I assured her, shaking my head. "I apologize though, for missing the reception. The wedding was absolutely beautiful," I said, glancing back at Baralai. He seemed to finally snap back to reality as his wife took his hand.

"Well, we had best get going," said Tidus, "I'm sure Brother is waiting and I know he doesn't like to wait... especially when it involves getting rid of _me_," he added as a quiet after thought, rolling his eyes. Yuna giggled.

"Yes, I think we should," she agreed. "It was nice seeing you again, Emi," she said to Emi who smiled.

"Thank you, High Summoner," said the twenty year old priestess.

"Congrats again you two," said Tidus, shaking Baralai's hand for a final time.

"Thanks," Baralai made an attempt to sound excited. As the two started off Baralai turned to me and said, "Paine, can I talk to you in private for a moment?"

I could literally feel Lulu's eyes boring into the back of my head. I bet even Tidus and Yuna had stopped to wonder what Baralai wanted to talk to me about – and especially why he wanted privacy.

"Oh come on, 'Lai, we're all friends here," said Gippal. "I'm sure whatever – ow!" Rikku had elbowed him in the gut to quiet him. "_Tysh, dryd rind, pypo..._" Baralai gave me a questioning look, waiting for my answer.

"Sure," I shrugged, pretending to wonder what he wanted.

I started towards a side door. I heard him say to his wife, "I'll be back in just a moment."

I stepped inside the tiny closet-like room, and he closed the door behind him as he stepped over its threshold. It was dark but I could still make him out. "I heard what happened... about that guy and how you fainted. Are you sure that you are okay?" he asked me quietly, stepping closer and running a hand through my hair (which I had worn down for the ceremony today). Before I could answer his arm was around my waist and his forehead was against mine. "I've wanted to do that all day..." he whispered.

I knew that we should not be acting this way towards each other, not so close to a waiting group of people. But it was too hard not to. My hands stripped off their gloves and slipped underneath the back of his un-tucked undershirt. "I know," I whispered back. "I'm fine. Just a little stressed..." I kissed him first. Again, I knew I shouldn't have, but how could I resist, I mean _really_? He was just so adorable when he was concerned…

I think we both got a little_ too _into it. We seemed to have a knack for doing that sort of thing... I think…

He pushed me against the wall of the tiny room, and I felt his hands searching immediately for a way to remove my little blood colored dress. "Wait..." I whispered, taking his hands and putting them down by his side. The moment I let go of them he placed them instead on my hips, and I did not object to them. "We shouldn't... We'll get too carried away, you know we will..." I could almost feel Baralai's face heating up.

"Sorry..." he whispered, grinning. "I couldn't help it..." I smiled, and this time I merely kissed his warm cheek, and felt it turn even hotter. "But seriously," he said, looking at me, "Are you _positive _that you don't need to see a real healer, I'll pay for-?" I covered his mouth.

"I'm positive," I said. "I'm perfectly fine. Lulu said that it was nothing but stress. I trust her more than any healer New Yevon could possibly provide me." I felt terrible for lying to him. But he could not know the truth... It would ruin us. "Is that all you wanted?" I asked.

"No," he said. I waited for more, but that was all he said.

"What else?" He took my chin and tilted my face back. I stared into his very close, brown eyes.

"I just had to tell you that I love you again..." he said.

"You tell me that _all the time_," I said, pretending to be annoyed. "But I'll let it go..." I joked. "I love you too."

"Well we had better get back out there, you guys have to get back to the airship and I have... my 'wife'..." he sighed, looking upset. I tried to cheer him up, but how could I when I was also upset? "When will I see you again?" he asked me.

"I'm not sure... soon, though... soon, I promise..." I knew what was on his mind, and he knew what was on mine.

Honeymoon.

We walked out of the closet together, acting completely normal. Everyone was still waiting for us over at the doors to the reception all, including Tidus and Yuna still. Afterwards Baralai and I parted, going our separate ways. It was painful, very painful…

The large group of us headed for the airship after all the checking out was done. The Celsius was docked outside the city gates, on that large strip leading towards Macalania. We were almost there, and Brother was even beginning to lower the hatch for us to board, when Rikku suddenly had an idea.

"Let's all go for a walk in Macalania!" she exclaimed. We all stopped and stared at her.

"Why?" Tidus asked.

"Because..." said Rikku. She shifted her feet and looked a little nervous. "_E gehty fyhd du caa res ykyeh... oui ghuf?_" My eyebrows furrowed. _Him? See 'him' again? See who? _

Gippal looked like he understood – no one else spoke Al Bhed anyway. "You'd have to go to the Farplane for that," said Gippal.

"I know..." she said. Then she looked up at him. "_Pid eh _Macalania_... ed ymfyoc vaamc mega ra'c dranaa E fyhd du caa frana fa ryt lysbat ykyeh, ymm uv ic. E's cina _Tidus_ yht _Yunie, _yht _Lulu _yht _Wakka_ fuimt du. Bmayca, _Gippal_... ra fyc so kuut vneaht._" The statement was spoken softly, so it was hard for me to translate it in my head. Something about... how she wanted to see where they had camped together in Macalania. How she wanted to see _him _again, how it felt that this 'him' was somehow in Macalania.

Then I figured it out.

Auron...

Rikku wanted to see Auron again.

"I think we should go," I said firmly to Gippal. Gippal looked at me. Then he looked down at Rikku again.

"I should probably know Al Bhed better," said Tidus, "but since I don't..."

"Rikku wants to see where we camped that one time," Yuna explained. I was impressed that she had actually done the translation so well. She had learned her Al Bhed correctly this time. I knew she had wanted to learn more about that side of her heritage. I was proud of her for that. It made me want to go to Macalania even more now. "It has been a while since we've seen it," said Yuna, addressing everyone.

"I'd like to see it again, ya," said Wakka. "I haven't seen that place since the first time we were there."

"And it is fading fast," said Lulu. "I think it would be important to go... we may never get another chance."

Gippal and I exchanged looks again. We were the only two who had not been part of that heroic expedition. Macalania was not special to us in the same way that it was to Yuna and her guardians. It did not take long for all of them to agree to go. Yuna had the task of telling Brother that he would have to meet us at the other side of Macalania, and that we would be about an hour or more. He was not happy, but I was. Not just because of where we were going, but because of who I was going with. I did not get to spend enough time with them anymore.

The former guardians and former summoner started off first after the Celsius had taken off into the sky. Lulu looked over her shoulder, as she walked with her husband, to give me a secretive look. I tried to tell her with my eyes that I would follow shortly. Rikku turned to Gippal before they set off and said, "_E muja **oui**..._" and poke him in the chest. I raised an eyebrow. Gippal looked slightly upset about something.

"_E muja oui duu_," he replied. I stayed behind and watched Rikku walk away from him and run to join Yuna. Gippal seemed to sense me watching him and turned around. "_Fryd,_" he said, but then he coughed and corrected, "I mean, 'What?'"

"_Fro tuh'd oui mega res_...?" I asked. _What is it you have against my father, Gippal...? _

"Well... nothing, really. It's just that Rikku kinda had a little... I guess she had a crush on him. Nothing serious but... I dunno..." He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, turning away and beginning to walk, leaving me wide-eyed.

"Crush...?" I asked aloud. _Ewww..._ I got shivers from the thought. _That is just **disgusting**! Rikku with my... ewwww... _

0o0o0o0o0

I walked a little behind everyone, just like I usually tended to do. As I walked I thought about Emi. I tried not to, but her and Baralai's faces kept appearing in my head.

I thought about how kind she was, and how she did not deserve to be duped like this. No one I knew deserved to be fooled the way that I was fooling them. Emi was too nice and too good for this. She deserved better. I have known her for seven months, and I may not know her very well, but I knew that she deserved better.

The sad thing about it is: I knew her better than Baralai did. Only a few days after I found out about the engagement was when I had first met her. This was after Baralai and I had slept together the first time, which made it awkward to actually see his fiancée. But not as awkward as it was to see her now, because Baralai and I had not planned on seeing each other again back then... "_It was a mistake_," we both decided, "_It was mistake that we won't make again_."

She was shorter than I was, tanner than I was, had longer and darker hair, and also had a much smaller bone structure than mine, which made her appear very tiny. She looked younger than me, but she was actually older. She had a distinguished family, who had been prudent followers of Yevon – very cautious about going against it. I was surprised that such a family would think Baralai fit to marry their daughter. Then I remembered that Baralai had managed to erase his Crimson records.

If pit up against one another in who would most likely make a better Praetor's wife, it was obvious that Emi would win. She was also more qualified for the job, and yes it _was_ going to be a _job_. Even when I had met her I had immediately thought that Baralai would _love_ this woman. She seemed to be his type. I had thought, _"Surely_ _he'll fall all over her! He'd have to be **out of his mind** to pick me over her_..._" _I had never seen myself as Baralai's type before. We were both quiet, yes, and we were similar in other ways, but that did not make me his _'type'_, not to me it didn't. He was even more passive than I was, and not nearly as shy. But, according to Baralai, Emi was the one who was not his type. He had finally met his bride-to-be at a banquet, which the Gullwings had also been "cordially invited to attend", and I saw the way he talked with her. It was, without a doubt, _uncomfortable_. There was no chemistry there, none at all. Emi had acted all sweet and flirty... but Baralai, I could tell, was very uncomfortable around her, especially with her attempting to hang all over him.

I remembered that night well. It was the night that had _really _started our affair. After that night there was no questioning our relationship. We were _not _friends, and we were never going to be friends again.

We had not planned on it that night. I had not even talked to Baralai the entire time I was there. It was after the banquet had ended that it had happened. I had simply been heading back to the airship when Baralai caught me by my arm. He had looked so nervous and in a _horrible _state of mind. It had always been unlike him to act that way. _"So you met her_,_" _I had said.

"_Yes..." _he replied, very softly. I had then turned to Yuna and Rikku and told them to go on ahead of me. The three of us had been planning to dock in Bevelle over night anyway.

"_Well, how is she?" _I remember asking him next. I had thought that she was nice, so I had assumed that he would think the same.

He didn't.

"_She's stifling!" _he exclaimed. I had laughed, even though I knew that I should not have done so. It was, after all, a serious matter. This was his future wife he was talking about.

"_How so?" _I asked with concern, not for Emi, but for Baralai. Baralai and I had walked back to his office, which was the closest place where we could talk in private without interruption. When we were finally alone he had next proceeded to rant and rave about how he could not _imagine _spending his life with this woman. _"Baralai, you have to at least give her a chance! You have no choice but to marry her, you two have to do this, for Yevon's sake at least give her the benefit of the doubt!"_

"_Benefit of the doubt!? What benefit of the doubt...!? I talked to her for **three hours,** and already I want to just kill myself!" _No one can even begin to imagine how I had felt that night, right then, standing in his office, listening to him. I have no idea what was going through my head that moment. I sort of tuned him out, and only stared at him as he paced instead of listening to him rant. Then he stopped and looked as if he wanted to pull out all of his hair. His back was facing me – I remember... I can remember everything about that moment, except how I felt about him. He turned around quickly and we stared at each other for, literally, five minutes. Five very uncomfortable minutes, where neither of us spoke, or moved. I, for one, could not move at all. _"Paine..." _was all he said next. I like when he says my name, especially when he say it the way he had said it that night.

I never even got the chance to ask _What…_

It was not aggressive, his kiss. It was just... _there_. It was gentle, and nice. Yes... yes it was very nice. _"W-We... you shouldn't have... 'Lai, we can't..." _I had sputtered like an idiot for who knows how long. I could not understand what was going on at the time.

"_I know we can't..." _he replied. That night was not 'aggressive' either, I guess... We weren't tearing each other's clothes off in the heat of the moment. No. We were just there... together... There is no real good way to describe it. That's the best I could come up with on the spot. It doesn't matter what it was anyway, the facts are what matter the most. What we did and who we were, that would be what mattered to the priests if they ever found out…

"Paine!"

"Huh? What...?" I finally found my way back to the present and to reality.

Yuna was staring at me with concern. I looked over her shoulder and saw that Lulu was doing the same – only her 'concerned look' was much different from Yuna's. I knew that they were both afraid that I would collapse again. Truthfully I felt perfectly fine... except for the weight of the fact that I AM PREGNANT. Yes, other than that I felt perfectly healthy, and maybe even a little happy. Thinking about someone very dear to you usually does that to a person, I have learned.

"Are you okay, Paine?" Yuna asked. I nodded reluctantly.

"I'm fine," I sighed, folding my arms. I realized that it was just Yuna, Lulu and I where I had stopped. The rest had gone on ahead. We were standing at the top of a sloped path which led to a darker part of the forest. I could not see the rest of our group ahead of us. This was the part of the forest which had not faded quite as much as the rest of it had, not yet.

"Okay, then we can continue," said Lulu. Yuna walked ahead first, and I knew why Lulu had not moved. The former summoner passed her guardian and headed down the slope, and out of sight. "Are you sure you're okay?" Lulu asked me seriously.

"I'm fine," I assured her. "Really, I can handle myself."

"Just be careful – Oh my..." she whispered, staring over my shoulder and taking a few steps back. She stepped back too far, and tripped backwards. She was too close to the steep slope. I tried to catch her as she fell back, but I failed. She fell down the hill, rolling over many times until she reached the bottom.

"Lulu!" She wasn't moving...! She was completely unmoving! "Lulu!" Still nothing. "Damn it..." I hissed. Then I glanced over my shoulder, and, in my surprise, I turned around fully. "Holy Yevon, father of Sin..." I whispered, eyes widening.

I had heard rumors going around Bevelle that even though the forest was fading the fiends were multiplying, but I had never really believed it much until now.

Spherimorphs... _Two _Spherimorphs.

Immediately I reached for my garment grid as well as my comsphere. I knew I had them somewhere on me.

No... No I did not, actually.

"Where are they!?" I panicked. I knew I had them! I had had them when I got off of the ship for the wedding, where were they now!? I looked quickly back down at the unconscious black mage at the bottom of the hill. There they were... lying next to Lulu's still unmoving body. She must have taken them from me while I was unconscious... I looked back at the two fiends looming over me.

If I could just get to my garment grid then I would be fine...

I turned and ran down the hill, but I knew the two things were following me. I slid to a stop and grabbed both items, quickly changing into default. It felt much more comfortable than that stupid dress. I tried connecting with Yuna while turning to face the two Spherimorphs, sword drawn. I really am an idiot, forgetting that you have to use magic on them... Great. And Lulu just _happens_ to be _unconscious_!

"Why couldn't this happen after I've at least learned _something _useful…!"

Then one of them did the worst thing it could possibly do. I felt the pyreflies rub against my legs, before I saw them fly up to the fiend. I stared down at them as they gathered around me and then floated into the closest Spherimorph. I could do nothing to prevent it from oversouling.

"Not... good..."

I froze. I completely froze. I could not move at all. I was simply frozen stiff.

"_Paine... Paine, you called? Paine? Where are you two?_"

I backed away slowly. I glanced down at Lulu, and nudged her with my foot. Just on the shoulder, but as I backed away I gave her a slight tap on the head with my heel, just to be safe.

Then I led them away from her, backing away and away, until I saw the fiends pass over her belted, tiny little body. _Wake up, damn it…_ I knew fiends did not know English, but I could not risk that maybe they would understand what I was planning. After I visited the Den of Woe for the second time… I've thought of fiends differently. They're _human_. Part of them, part of their souls is still a human, just trapped in that body.

The lines between fiend and human… Unsent and alive…

I saw her get up. Slowly, but she did push to her knees, and look my way. Her eyes saw the two morphs, and then she saw me – my eyes pleading with her. She stood up and carefully observed the scene in front of her. I swung fiercely at the morphs, attacking first. I missed like I had planned it. It angered the oversouled one. Like I had wanted it to. The blue suddenly changed to a light red, almost pinkish color. Lulu flicked her hand and pulled the moisture right out of the air above the fiend, and I watched as she dumped the water onto it with a splash.

I felt so much like my old self again. Fighting was what I was good at. Fighting was where I belonged. I kept the fiends' attention fixed on me with my feeble distraction swings. I even landed a hit once or twice when I thought they were turning towards Lulu. She continued attacking from a safe distance, spell after spell, change after change. I knew she was trying to kill them off as fast as possible, afraid of the danger I was putting myself in.

The oversouled one fell first, and soon afterwards the ordinary one dissolved into pyreflies. I lost my grip on my sword, and it clanged to the ground. I watched the pyreflies, and saw them come towards me, flying at me. "Paine!" I didn't move, I didn't want to. They passed by me, _through _me, and went on.

"_Thank you," _I heard them whisper. I turned and watched them float up into the sky.

"Paine, are you okay?" Lulu asked me quickly. I looked back at her.

"I'm fine," I said, nodding. "Just a little winded." I walked past her and reached down to pick up my comsphere, turning it off and putting it away.

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard," said Lulu. I walked past her again, and turned, facing her as I continued walking backwards.

"No, no, I'm only _a little_ winded because of the pyreflies, not the fighting. I told you I can handle – Whoa!" I tripped over a root, and fell right on my ass. Lulu made a step towards me, but stopped. I stared at my foot which was caught in the root, supporting myself with my arms.

"What's going on?" I looked over my shoulder. Yuna and Tidus were there, quickly followed by the other three. It was Tidus who had asked the question.

"Paine, why did you call, did something happen? Why are you in warrior?" Yuna asked, talking a mile a minute.

"Spherimorphs," said Lulu. "We took care of them."

We pressed on eventually. This time I kept my thoughts focused on the present, so nothing else went wrong. I walked a little behind everyone, toting my sword on my shoulder. Then I realized Rikku was actually slightly behind even me. I noticed this only because she jumped up beside me all of a sudden. I looked down at her. "What?" I asked quietly.

"I never got a chance to thank you," she said, "for defending me."

"You don't have to thank me," I told her. "I'm your-"

"Friend," she cut me off. I stopped and so did she.

"Yes," I nodded slowly, giving her a suspicious look. What was she getting at?

"We're friends," she said. I smirked and moved my sword, placing it on top of her head and holding it there.

"Yeah," I shrugged. "What of it?"

"I miss when we used to be the more of the Gullwings," she told me. We still were Gullwings, but I knew what she meant.

"I do to," I replied, removing my sword and placing it down by my side. "I'm sure that one day… if we wait it out, the world will need us again. Us as a whole, I mean… But there's no use not living, there's no reason to simply wait around doing nothing until that happens."

"Yeah," she said happily. I genuinely smiled at her. In turn she frowned. I knew that it was a sad frown, it was a thoughtful one.

"What?"

"You remind me of him…" she whispered. "It's in the way you smile, it's like his. I should know, because he didn't really smile all that much." I smiled inwardly. So I… reminded Rikku of my dad? She could not know how happy I was to hear that.

"You miss him, don't you?" I asked.

"Of course," she chirped. "Always have. Always will. He was kind of like a protective older brother, or sometimes like a father, I guess. Like you. I think of you as like my older sister. The way you're always there for me – yeah, Auron was like that."

"You're Al Bhed," I said softly.

"You just now noticed?" she giggled. "Come on Painey, I thought you were smarter than that."

"You know what I mean," I scoffed. "Al Bhed, I thought that they didn't dwell on the past. Memories, right? Gippal told me that." We started walking again, so we didn't lose our group in the forest. I assumed that we were almost there.

"But he's special," she said. "I don't know why, but he is. I never got a chance to say goodbye, and I've never gotten around to it…"

"It's been three years."

"So? Have you found your past yet? The old you?" I sighed and shook my head, swinging my sword absentmindedly. I thought so…

"_Pnyd_," I gave her a light shove, and she stumbled off the path.

"_Pimmo_," she shoved back. I laughed.

"_Fydlr ed, get..._" She looked up at me. "Rikku…" I whispered, taking a deep breath.

"_Fryd?_" We both stopped. We were here at last.

She continued to gaze up at the side of my face, even when Gippal said, "Finally!" in a joking way. She was intent on hearing what I had to say… because it mattered to her. Hearing what I had to say actually mattered to her. They were talking to one another quietly, she was hugging his waist with one arm in a simple Lulu-ish sign of affection for the man she loved.

"I have something to tell you," I whispered. "That you can't tell anyone else."

"I swear, what is it?" she asked, trying not to sound too eager. I turned and leaned forward, cupping my hands around my mouth to whisper in her ear.

I heard her gasp as the words left my mouth and registered in her brain.

"_Ra ec... so vydran..._"

_He is my father. _


	4. Something in the Water

Okay so maybe I lied, maybe there isn't enough interaction between the couple in this one either, I don't know. But I'll get to it I promise! In case you haven't noticed that I'm making this up as I go… well, soon you'll know. Nothing except for the last few scenes were planned in the original plot I had imagined. But I simply could not resist it. It was too good of an opportunity to complicate matters just a tiny bit more… mwhahaha.

Enjoy!

0o0o0o0o

We got out of Macalania soon after I confessed to my friend about Auron. Nothing else exciting happened – unless you count Rikku nearly exploding with having to hold in her surprise. I could see how much she wanted to scream, but she did not. And I was very proud of her for that too.

Now, after many minutes of silence at the campsite, we were all back on the airship. I was in the Cabin, enjoying the alone time. In a few minutes though I have to go down and break the news (with Lulu) that I am leaving. That will not be very fun…

"Paine?" I looked towards the stairwell, sitting up on my pillow.

"Yeah, Rikku…" I said, trying to sound annoyed to see her. I was, kind of, it had been so wonderfully quiet.

"Can I… talk to you?" Rikku asked me.

"We've known each other for a year, Rikku, I don't think you have to ask anymore," I replied curtly. She frowned, looking even more nervous than before. "Sit…" I told her, patting my bed. The Al Bhed's smile returned and she bounded over to my bed and plopped down next to my legs. "What is it?"

"Well, Paine… you're Auron's daughter, really?" she asked me. I grinned and nodded.

"I am."

"That's awesome!" she said. "But why didn't you tell us sooner?" I shrugged. "What must it have been like to have him for a dad…" she whispered in awe.

"When you find out, tell me," I said bitterly, "I'd like to know too."

"What do you mean?" she asked me.

"I never met him. Only once, and I was half unconscious," I explained. "I can't remember it at all. I only found out after I was in the Gullwings… I didn't tell you because, back then, I couldn't trust you." Rikku appeared stunned by my blunt remark. My words probably hurt my friend, but it was best to be honest. I don't know why I was suddenly being so open with my heritage... perhaps it was to relieve my guilt for hiding my affair.

"Who… Who told you?"

"Lulu did," I said.

"Oh…" Rikku whispered. "I'm happy that you're finally being honest with me, Paine," she told me. "Is there anything else you want to tell me? I'll tell you whatever you want if you ask." I grinned again.

"I don't know," I said. "Why so interested?"

"Because you're my friend, that's all," said Rikku.

"Okay," I nodded, "I get the feeling that you want to tell me something."

"Yeah," she whispered, nodding furiously. "I-I… Well, Gippal and I… we hadn't um, you know…" I almost laughed out loud.

"Never had sex," I whispered with a smirk. She nodded. "Wow."

"Wow?" she squeaked nervously. "W-What do you mean 'Wow'?" she asked me with big, emerald eyes. Her demeanor was very entertaining, actually. I knew that it was wrong to assume, but I had always assumed that Rikku was not completely 'innocent' when I had met her. I mean, _honestly, _have people _seen _what she _wears_!? And I had spent months on the same boat with Gippal, and his stories about her and him together did not help my assumptions of the princess.

"I mean… nothing, nothing, continue."

"Well we weren't going to, you know? I-I told him that I just… didn't want to, and I wasn't…"

"Ready," I finished for the practically shaking girl.

"Yeah!" she said. "I wasn't ready. I really did want to though, but I knew dad and Brother would _kill me_…" Well that explained it. "But, then he proposed to me, you know, and I…" I nodded and waved my hand dismissively.

"You two are getting married, Rikku," I told her, taking one of her hands unconsciously. I leaned forward and looked her straight in the eye. "It's going to be okay. It was once, I'm sure you can forgive yourself in time. You did it, and you can't take it back even if you want to..." She shook her head, and I knew she was ready to cry. I could see it in her scrunched up face. "Is that why you didn't want me to beat up that guy for calling you a whore…?" She kept shaking her head, but I knew that I had hit the mark. "Rikku," I reprimanded her as kindly as I could, "don't be stupid, you're not a whore. You're in love, Rikku… no one can blame you for that. This isn't like some thirteen year-old rushing into something… you are an adult now, and you're getting married. It's was a one time thing, I know that you won't do it again, and it didn't destroy your life. You're going to be fine." _If anyone is the whore, Rikku, it's me... not you... _

"Y-You don't get it…" she sniffed.

"Them make me get it," I told her forcefully. "Tell me what's bothering you so badly." She looked right and left to make sure no one was around, and then she spoke, in Al Bhed just to be extra careful.

"Gippal… _fa fanah'd lynavim..._" she told me. I am very surprised that I did not faint for a second time that day. My mouth, however, did fall open. Rikku was not encouraged by my stunned face. Actually it caused her to burst into tears at last.

"Rikku," I whispered. "You're not…" She nodded furiously, squeezing her eyes shut. "You're not pregnant…"

"Yes I am!" she cried.

"How long?" I asked her quietly.

"I just found out… not very long… maybe two weeks." I shook my head, leaning against the headboard and covering my mouth. "It's still going to be okay, right? I mean… I should keep it, right?"

"Of course," I whispered, still completely dumbstruck. It was now my eyes that could not meet Rikku's. She leaned her forehead against my shoulder, and I did not say anything. Under any other circumstances I would not have allowed her to do such a thing…

I'm three weeks, and now Rikku's two weeks… What's next?

"You're the only one who knows besides Gippal and me," Rikku told me. Why did she have to tell me that...? That only made me feel worse. Rikku was so upset about what she did... and then look at me.

"Rikku," I said quietly. This was probably not the best time to say it, but it just spilled out of me. "I'm leaving the Gullwings…"

0o0o0o0o

"Leaving!?"

"Why are you leaving?"

"Yeah, what's going on?" I covered my ears quickly and shook my head. I stood in the middle of the Bridge now, in a circle of accusatory stares.

"Everybody just be quiet," Lulu snapped. "If you want the answers you have to give her time to speak." I straightened up and put my hands back down by my side. Everyone fell silent finally. They had been going like that since Rikku had stormed down into the Bridge.

"I'm just taking a break for a while," I explained. "I'm going to Besaid."

"For what!?" asked Brother.

"I'm going to study under Lulu," I told him. "Magic." Brother scoffed at me. "Oh shut up, airhead," I snapped at him. "This isn't your decision. It's mine. You can't keep me here. You let Yuna go. It's only for a few months, and then I'll be back." I was not completely certain that the last part of my statement was true. After the baby came I had no idea what I was going to do.

"Well, that'd work out, wouldn't it," said Yuna. I looked over at her. She turned her attention to her husband and I saw him nod. It was a very encouraging nod… I gulped.

"Why…" Lulu seemed to share my apprehension.

"Because I can keep her company, maybe teach you some white magic too, right? That'd be fine, don't you think?" Wait. Hold on just _one_ freakin' moment!

"I thought you were going to Luca in a couple of days," Rikku said. "Blitzball."

"She was," said Tidus. "I'm still going… unfortunately," he added with a grin to his wife. "You want to tell them?"

"Oh Yevon," Lulu whispered. She and I exchanged looks of absolute horror.

"Tidus and I are having our first baby!" Yuna exclaimed with excitement.

Thump.

"Brother!"

I stayed where I was. Everyone else (sans Brother) was also frozen in place. He had completely _passed out_. Unconcious. Out like a light. Rikku actually laughed out loud, and soon Gippal joined in. Then the rest, except for Lulu and I, laughed also.

"What's next," said Gippal to his fiancée, "Paine and Lulu?" Rikku found the joke very funny, but others such as Buddy, Yuna, and Wakka fell silent. Tidus, Rikku and Shinra were the only ones still laughing.

"What?" asked Yuna. "Rikku… are _you_?" Rikku looked at me, and then back at her cousin.

"Yeah…" she whispered timidly, still obviously struggling with her shame.

A second loud thump rang out, mixed with the sound of chain hitting metal. Lulu had suddenly collapsed to the floor, much like Brother had.

"Lulu!" I gasped. Yuna covered her mouth and almost jumped. I looked at Wakka, who quickly knelt by his wife's side and tried desperately to revive the poor woman.

"Wakka, dude, she's not _really _pregnant too is she? I was just making a dumb joke…" said Gippal with apparent embarrassment.

"Uh…" said Wakka. "Lulu really didn't want anyone to know," he said, scratching the back of his head. "But ya… we are… five weeks." My face must have looked like I had suddenly seen a ghost. I stared at the mage's face, not knowing whether to be happy for her or appalled at her not telling me.

"Paine?" Rikku laughed nervously. "Are you...?"

"Of course not," I lied flat out. "How could I have managed that?" I asked her with a fake chuckle.

"Oh, well I would have thought that…" I glared over at Tidus and he stopped short of finishing his sentence. He gave me a truly frightened look, his hand frozen in the air. He was pointing at someone, and I was curious to find out who. I followed his finger and my crimson eyes landed on Buddy. The man took a step backwards, raising his hands in defense.

"Me and Buddy?" I scoffed. "What made you think that?" The blond shrugged.

"I dunno," he said. "But no?"

"No," Buddy and I both said at the same time. Tidus turned slightly red and took a step behind his wife, placing her in between him and me, like she was his human shield. I turned my attention away from my blond friend, and looked around at each woman standing in the room with me. I actually felt light-headed again myself…

All four of us… The likelihood of it! That we would all be pregnant, exactly one week apart… "Yuna, how far along are you?" I asked her, fixing my gaze on her face.

"A month," she told me. "I'm not exactly sure, though. Why?"

"Just wondering," I told her. "Wow, must be something in the water," I mumbled. "Buddy… how long do you think it'll be until we reach Besaid?"

"At least five minutes," he replied. I nodded, glancing down at Wakka who was fanning his wife's face with absolutely no effect.

"I'm going back upstairs to pack my things until then…" I said, walking up the steps and through the door. It closed behind me and I pressed my back against it, turning my head so that I could do the same with my ear.

"What's Paine so upset about all of a sudden?" Gippal's voice sounded distant but I could still make out what he said.

"I don't know," said Tidus.

"Maybe she's lonely," Rikku suggested.

"Paine? Lonely?" said Yuna. "It's possible… I don't know why she wouldn't let one of us know how she felt though."

"Because she's Paine," said Shinra. His voice was the hardest to ear because he spoke so softly from behind his mask. "If she has to choose between herself and someone else, she always chooses someone else."

"How do you know that?" asked Buddy.

"I'm just a kid. I'm supposed to notice these things." I grinned genuinely.

Then I heard someone groan. It was obviously Lulu and not Brother – the difference between them was too great to get them mixed up. I listened as my good friend inquired where I had gone. Then I heard another thump as someone, probably Rikku and Yuna both, threw their arms around her. Their squeals of delight hurt my ears as they both congratulated her profusely on expecting a second child.

I left the hallway in a calm fashion, and pressed the cabin button once I had entered the lift. Once the doors closed I pounded my fist against the stop button. The lift clamored to a halt. I simply sat down right down in the middle of the floor.

"Yuna, Rikku, and Lulu…" I whispered. "This won't be good… not good at all…" I put my hands on the back of my neck and buried my face in my knees. How were Lulu and I going to make this work…? We _could_ pull it off, I'm sure of it. Except right now, I'm not sure exactly _how _it can work, and that more than slightly worries me. I had been banking on the fact that Yuna would not be around Besaid during four of the nine months I would be stuck there. Now she was going to be there for all nine. And now, with all the celebration, I knew that Baralai would know about each of them soon. How could I possibly hide something so important from him in the midst of all of this?

Wait. Baralai!

I gulped. I had just remembered. In all the excitement which spawned from our trip to Macalania it had completely slipped my mind. The Honeymoon! Oh just the word made me sick to my stomach.

"Paine!" Buddy's voice rang out on the intercom. "We're landing right now. Meet you in the engine room when you're done. Oh, and Brother's awake and he's not happy with you."

"Whatever," I muttered. I did not care about having to deal with Brother. Just glare at him and he backs off, I knew from experience. It works every time.

He was most certainly the least of my problems.

0o0o0o0o

I stepped off the ship, alone. I waded through the shallow waters with my suitcase in my hand. My friends still remained on the ship, doing other stuff. Me, I was simply trying my best to walk through wet sand in high heels, acting as if I had no care in the world. Acting had become one of my strong suits in the past months. Excuses for why I had to spend the night somewhere… I had gotten good at those. I remember one time when I had gone to Luca for the day, after getting offered a job. "_Oh, I'm really too tired… long day… Yes I know, Rikku, but - No, Brother, no I'm **not** accepting the job as a news recorder and am simply too ashamed to show my face to you, tattoo boy…! Yes, I turned it down, Shinra. Now could I please speak!? I'm too tired after the interview, I'm checking into a hotel, goodbye, talk to you tomorrow!" _That was really my all time favorite one. What a coincidence that Shelinda had learned of my recording experience and offered me a job… Yes, and what a coincidence that Baralai had scheduled a meeting in Luca for the very same day I had scheduled my interview.

Luca was such a wonderful place, wasn't it… and much better when you add-

"Baralai!?"

"Paine?"

"Paine?"

"Emi…?!" I dropped my suitcase into the sand. "W-What are you two doing… here…?"

"We're having our honeymoon in Besaid, or course," said Emi with a smile, clinging to her husband's arm like her hands were glued to it. I looked from his wife to Baralai's face. "It's beautiful, isn't it...? I've never been, I've seen pictures, but I've always wanted to see it for my self. So I thought that this was the perfect chance for me to see it. And who better to see it with...?"

"I did not know that," I said accusingly, directing my words at her but looking fixedly at her husband. "What a… _wonderful _coincidence," I said through gritted teeth and an almost angry smile.

"What are you doing here?" Baralai asked me innocently.

"I," I began. "Well, actually… this is where I live now." Baralai's entire face paled, I swore even his white hair did if that was possible.

"Live?"

"Yes," I said. "I'm moving to Besaid for a few months."

"Oh!" Emi said, surprised. "That's wonderful, isn't it honey?" she asked Baralai. Baralai nodded.

"Yes, wonderful," he replied almost mechanically.

"Well why don't you help the woman with her bag?" she asked him kindly.

"I've got it," I told her.

"Oh no, Paine, it's the least we can do, right? I mean, you did get sick at _our _wedding." I did not like the way she put emphasis on the word _our_. Baralai agreed with his wife and picked up my suitcase before I could object again. "I'll go on ahead if you want to wait for everyone else, okay?" He nodded without saying a word. He wanted for her to leave earshot before he rounded on me.

"You're living here?" he hissed. "When was that decided?"

"Today," I snapped back.

"When were you going to tell me!?" I turned away from him and started off. He hurried to catch up to me.

"When were you going to tell me that your honeymoon was moved to Besaid? You told me it was in the Moonflow!"

"Emi wanted it changed to here," he said. "I know its weird…"

"Weird?" I laughed. "Oh, no Baralai, it's far past 'weird'," I told him.

"Paine," he said in a serious voice, lagging behind a bit. "It's times like these, when we're bickering like this…" I stopped ahead of him and turned around. "I wish I could have done something."

"'Lai," I said, forgetting my initial displeasure upon arriving here, "you did all you could."

"No," he said. "I could have done more, I know it! I could have… I want you and I to be together," he told me. His hand was suddenly in its favorite spot, which was behind my head, before I realized it. This was not the time… We were completely exposed. What was he doing!?

"Baralai… people can see us," I whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him advancing closer.

"Sometimes I wish that they would," he admitted for the first time that I could remember. "Most days I'm sick of hiding it. I want the world to know, Paine… No matter how hard they try, they need to know that nothing can make me stop caring about you." He hugged me instead of kissed me, trying to make it seem completely friendly. "Let them see," he whispered in my ear. "I want them to."

"So do I," I told him, getting unwillingly choked up a bit. He always said what was right. And to anyone who did see us, they had to admit that there was nothing strange about a hug between best friends. We parted and then he continued on, with me close at his heels this time. Emi was too far ahead now, I could not even see her. As for anyone behind us, I had not been paying attention. I wanted to reach out and hold his free hand as we walked, but I did not.

"You look beautiful today," he said, his back to me.

"You're not even looking at me," I laughed. We were about to walk underneath the tall ruins now, so it meant we were almost to the village.

"Don't have to," he said, still not looking over his shoulder. "I have eyes in the back of my head." I hurried past him and cut in front of him now.

"Oh please. Am I also supposed to believe you have x-ray vision?"

"Don't I wish…" he muttered, mostly to himself. I turned very red.

We continued to the village boundaries in silence. I absentmindedly fiddled with the sleeve of Baralai's robe the entire rest of the way, hardly aware of it. I was under the impression that we were, after all, completely alone. So in my mind it did not matter what I did. Then as we entered the small square I stopped and placed both of my hands behind my back, in order to help in resisting the temptations that came with having Baralai less than a full foot away from me. I smirked to myself as I watched him walk ahead again, my bag still in hand.

It really is amazing how much you can love another person. Especially for me. And especially despite all that has and will happen between him and me.

0o0o0o0o

That night all my happiness had pretty much evaporated. It was completely dark now, and everyone that was staying the night in Besaid (which was everyone from the Celsius plus the newlyweds) had retired to bed. I was now lying in one of the two extra rooms in Besaid Temple. Baralai and his wife were, unfortunately, in the other one. That was why I could not sleep. Anxiety was numbing the nerve endings in my hands and feet, as well as tightening the muscles in my arms, as well as my stomach.

I had finally had enough lying around. I was so wide awake that I had not even changed out of warrior yet. Making the decision quickly I got up, and walked silently from my room. I did not pay attention to anything else as I walked on, not even the noise my heels made registered to me.

Out of the building and down the steps I walked very purposefully. I knew exactly where I was headed.

I ended up at the beach faster than I had expected myself to. I remember the last time I snuck out of the village to come down here. Truthfully I almost expected Lulu to show up again… From inside one of my pockets I pulled out a brightly glowing sphere. I spun it a few times on my finger like it was a mini-blitzball. "Dad," I spoke directly to it, now holding it steadily in my hand. "Help me… I want to be a good mother. I don't my child to end up like I did… I don't want to fail my kid the way you thought you failed me!"

_Am I really being fair_...I asked the sphere in my head. _Is there a way out of this, really? Who would know better than you, dad? You've done the impossible… Is it possible for me to follow you? Am I capable of pulling this off? _"Tell me what I should do…!"

I felt stupid for talking to a sphere. Sphere's can only tell you so much – I've learned that as a sphere hunter… They are special things, and they can unlock so many doors into a person's past. But some doors need different keys. They can show you _what_ a person needs, but they can not always show how to get it. That is something a person needs to figure out for themselves sometimes. There are no shortcuts. There are no secret cheats to making everything go the way I want it to.

_People who want happy endings have to write their own._

Now I wonder who came up with that one…

I grinned.

"That's right," I said, "it was me…" I laughed to myself, feeling slightly better. I clutched the sphere in my hand and held it up to my eyelevel. "Thanks dad," I said to it.

Placing the orb back into my pocket I decided to head back before it got too late. I trudged back towards the forest part of the path between here and the village. When I placed my hand on the ledge to try and pull myself up without much of a strain, I heard something rustling above me. Dropping back down, I pressed against the mossy rocks and listened. The noise grew fainter, but I was still cautious as I took a step away from the wall and looked up. Then I turned and was suddenly thrown back as someone threw their arms around my neck with great force. My back hit the soft, cushioned rock and air was practically forced from my lungs.

"B-Baralai…!?"

0o0o0o0o

Yes I know it's strange that all of them are suddenly having children, but just remember: no one can be sure if everything will turn out okay once the plot progresses, not even me. I haven't decided if Leblanc is going to follow with the whole pregnant thing (I actually completely forgot about her during the writing of this whole thing), but Nooj and she will show up… when I get around to it. What do you guys think? 'Yes' for little Leblanc or Noojy Junior, or 'no'? I really would like to hear your opinion…


	5. A Different Game Now

"Paine," Baralai stepped away from me. He hung his head, shifting nervously. "I-I…" I put a hand to his face quickly, quieting him. He was shaking beneath my fingers, and his face was flushed and warm.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to sound calm and levelheaded. That was what he needed right now. I could tell. I had never seen him like this before. He was in nothing but his baggy pants (and his headband, of course), he did not even have shoes on his feet. There was what looked like sweat all over his chest and arms. I placed my free hand on his shoulder, encouragingly and lovingly. Keeping my eyes locked on his face I focused as much as I could. This was not the time to think about him that way… He was sick, and he needed me.

"I couldn't do it…" he said quickly, shaking his head. He looked up, and actually smiled. "I couldn't do it," he repeated with a lighthearted laugh. I jerked away, stepping back. I don't know why I did, but there was just something about what he meant… "Paine," he frowned, "Emi and I… we-"

"Not tonight," I said quickly, "but you will. Eventually."

"No," he said. "I won't-"

"You have to… There isn't any choice, 'Lai…" I breathed, pressing myself against the mossy wall, clutching the soft plant. _Don't look down… Don't look down…_

"Paine."

"She'll know," I said quickly. "She'll figure it out!" I shook my head furiously. "You have to…"

"No," he repeated firmly. "I told her I was too nervous, you see… that I just wasn't ready-"

"And you honestly believe she bought _that_!?"

"You don't understand," he said quickly, stepping closer. "I _tried_. But I just… _couldn't do it_, Paine," he whispered with a sly grin. Blood rushed to my cheeks as I realized what he meant. He placed his hands on my hips, leaning towards my ear. "I just ran out before she could say anything… She doesn't know her way around Besaid, she won't come after me. We're all alone," he whispered.

"Not tonight," I said, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away. He looked at me with concern, frowning. "I wish, but not tonight, not here…" His arms dropped down by his sides, and I tried my best to slip away.

"Wait," Baralai quickly grabbed my arm. I looked over my shoulder. "I just want to talk to you, Paine," he said. "Really." I sighed, stepping back towards him. "Let's go for a walk," he suggested, "on the beach, what do you think?" He gave my arm a gentle tug. "Like a… real couple…"

"Fine," I nodded, unenthused.

We walked slowly, hand in hand, along the small beach. Silently. It was nice, I will admit, to be outside with him. Alone, where no one could find us. We had been one 'dates' though, a few times. The two of us had gone to clubs together, huddled in a private room. Baralai would slip me the money, so I could pay for it and no one would know he was there. We had gotten drunk a few times, and who knows what we got up to then.

But never once had we done something really… 'romantic', I guess. We had talked about going down to the harbor in Luca to watch the sunset. We never did. Meeting at the Moonflow to see the pyreflies at night – we never did that either. Spending the night in the Zankarkand Ruins… that would have been fun, but we never managed it. All those places were too busy and too crowded.

I don't remember a walk on Besaid beach on our list, probably because that would have been the most impossible task. Until, of course, right now.

It was gorgeous. I had just been on this very beach, not even ten minutes ago, but now the stars were unmistakably brighter; the ocean was bluer; the moon was fuller. My red eyes turned up to Baralai's face, watching him. I forgot about everything… about all the pregnancies – and that included my own. None of it seemed important right now. We had nine months to worry about all that. Right now I was with my boyfriend, my best friend, what could be more perfect?

"This really is beautiful," he said as we came towards the dock. I smiled to myself, remembering something. I stopped, slipping my hand from his. He looked down quickly as I rushed towards the long pier. There was a boat docked there. "Paine, what are you doing!?" he called to me.

"Come on!" I called back, stopping at the plank connecting the stationary ship with the dock. I smirked as my eyes skimmed the deck, thinking back to the Squad days. Baralai came up behind me slowly, his bare feet shuffling against the wood.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"You'll see…" I replied shadily, stepping onto the boat slowly.

"Wait," he hurried after me. "We shouldn't be on this, this is trespassing!" he hissed.

"There's a lot of things we shouldn't be doing…" I turned towards him as I slowly traveled over the moonlit deck. "I think walking onto someone else's boat is a little low on the scale of bad things we've done." Baralai leaned against the mast, watching me with his arms folded thoughtfully. I moved towards the starboard side of the ship, leaning against it and staring down at the ocean below me. Then I stepped backwards, unbuttoning my top and throwing it down.

"Paine," Baralai said warningly. I grinned slyly, taking my suspenders and pulling them off my shoulders. I pulled off my boots as fast as I could. "Paine, don't even think about it!" Even before he had finished the sentence I dashed for the edge, and leapt into the sea. "Paine!" The water felt _amazing_. It was cold, but refreshing. I wiped my hair from my face, treading water. I turned myself around and looked up towards the frantic young man.

"Jump!" I yelled. "Come on!"

"Get out of there, it's dangerous," he rebuked me.

"Again with the danger!" I rolled my eyes, floating on my back. Blinking up at the sky I sighed, flicking the water around with my hands. "Who cares right now!?" Where did this come from? Earlier today I was so caught up in being careful… Now I didn't care about taking risks.

And I think I know why. It was because I would risk _anything_ to be with him.

I heard a splash as Baralai dived in to join me. He resurfaced and I sat up, watching him swim towards me. "Hey…" I said quietly. "Nice of you to join me." He smiled, shaking water out of his hair.

0o0o0o0o

"You're all wet now," I laughed, clutching the hem of his pants as we walked.

"I'll just say I went for a swim," Baralai muttered, tightening his arm around my shoulder. "And for once I won't be lying…" I frowned.

"We do seem to do that a lot, don't we?" I whispered, leaning more against him. We neared the gates of the village, but I quickly veered to the left. I hid in the corner created by the large pillar and the fence. Taking Baralai's hand I pulled him towards me. He held me around the waist, glancing around swiftly to make sure there was no one around. Then he looked back at me, beaming.

"I love you," he said firmly, leaning down and kissing me.

"Be careful," I warned him, "when you go back…"

"She's probably asleep by now," he said.

"I meant to Bevelle," I corrected him, taking his face in my hands. "We won't be able to see each other so often…"

"We'll figure it out," he assured me. "We'll find places to meet… We'll keep in touch… the comspheres…" I gulped, holding him firmly and gently pulling him closer.

"'Lai… you're going to have to-"

"We'll figure a way around it!" he said, sounding desperate. "I'll tell her I… can't have kids!" he suggested.

Good thing I'm already so pale…

"And what will that do? We've already thought of that, haven't we…? You couldn't do it then because that would just incriminate you-"

"But I'm married now-!"

"If you tell Emi she'll make you prove it… _many times_! And if you just go the priests and tell them that they'll just find some stupid reason to fire you. You love being the Praetor… you're the best one for the job! No one else can do the things you can… no one else has your vision for Spira, 'Lai…"

"Well who cares about my vision…! I _want to be with you_!"

"You have to think about the bigger picture, sometimes! People need you, Baralai!" I said with exasperation.

"Yes, _you _need me!"

"I'm one person! There are thousands of other people who look up to you for guidance… If it wasn't for you… who knows what the priests would do without you to stop them! How many times have we been over this in the past six months…?!"

"I… sometimes forget… what we've talked about," he said, embarrassed. "There are so many things…"

"So do I," I confessed, "but that doesn't matter any more. Our other plans mean nothing now! You're married, this is a whole new blitz game, 'Lai… We can't go by what we thought could work back then…" Here we go again… Fighting. This topic has already been discussed into the ground. It did not matter what we said, what either of us suggested… everything would always remain the same! At the end of this everything would be as we had left it. I think we have proven that nothing, not even ourselves, could tear us apart.

But having Baralai sleep with someone else…? Being forced to conceive another child? Who knows… that could probably do the trick… And I don't want that.

I shook my head, thinking. "What is it?" he asked me.

"I know that you have to do it eventually…" He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "But I want you to stall for as long as you can…" I dug my fingers into his scalp, leaning my head against his chin. "Please."

"I will," he said softly. "I promise you, I will." He kissed my forehead, and stepped away. "I should probably go…"

"Yeah," I agreed, swallowing my tears. "I love you." He did not need to say it back. He merely smiled, and kissed me goodbye before he trotted off for the temple. I peeked around the corner, waiting to see him pass underneath the large entranceway. Then I calmly headed in the same direction myself.

"_Ceq suhdrc_!?"

I stopped dead.

"You've been _screwing_ my best friend… _for six months_…?!" Slowly I turned around, _very_ slowly.

"Gippal…" Settled in the corner between the large pillar and the fence – exactly where Baralai and I had been, on the other side of the gate – was Gippal. His face was set in a furious expression, and I knew that he had heard everything. "I swear, it's not what you think…"

0o0o0o0o

_Dun-dun-dun!_ Haha. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. This chapter isn't really much except short fluff. I just wanted to update and show you guys that I'm not dead. So here. I'll try not to be so long next time – but I can't make any promises.


	6. Friends

_I am so sorry everyone!!!!!! To tell you all the truth I had totally given up on fanfiction altogether until Dragon Girl323 sent me a private message a few days ago. After that I was determined to start and finish this chapter. I can never apologize enough for taking so much time, but I really am sorry._

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Gippal had, during our time in the Squad together, been the closest thing I had to a sibling. We interacted like brother and sister. The two of us played practical jokes on the "older kids" as Gippal would call Nooj and Baralai. When I was around him I felt like a kid. More than I ever had when I was a child. It was fun, having a brother to hang out with, to talk to.

But, like typical siblings, we also fought.

The rivalry between us often emerged as a yelling match. We slung insults back and forth. Sometimes I meant what I said, other times it was all noise. Then the yelling would turn to wrestling. Often the two of us would end up rolling down a sand dune with his hair in my fist and my other arm in his grip. That was when Baralai would stumble through the sand after us – always the voice of reason. The horrible voice of reason, might I add. It was only when Nooj fired two rounds into the air did Gippal and I break apart. "You are all acting like stupid children!" he would bark at us before marching off. When his back was turned Gippal would punch my arm one last time. Without fail.

I can recall a number of rough arguments between us. But none came anywhere close to this:

After I stormed out of the village he followed me, of course, yelling Al Bhed curses at my back. I waited until we had reached the top of the hill, away from Lulu, away from Rikku and Yuna, and away from Emi, to speak. "Would you shut the hell up!?" was all I could think to say. "You'll wake the whole village with a mouth like that!"

"You expect me to remain calm about this!?" he snapped.

"Grow up, Gippal," I snapped back in a low hiss. "Don't act all innocent with me. It's not as if you're _perfect_!"

"Well right now I'm looking a whole lot better than you," he spat. "At least I'm not having an affair with someone who happens to also have a spouse!"

"Well, for your information, I haven't slept with him since he got married," was my reply. The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them. What a horrible thing to say... As if it justified anything!

"Sometimes," Gippal growled, "you're a _coldhearted bitch_!" I should not have done it, but I did. My knuckles made contact with the side of his face and my nails swiped his ear. A resounding _SMACK _echoed through the trees, followed by a silence so deep it was as though the sound had rendered me deaf.

All friendships had limits. As I stared up into Gippal's narrowed green eye I wondered if we had suddenly, in that moment, reached ours.

We did not fight. We just stood there, two adults, glaring at one another.

"Gippal..." I whispered, after one of the longest moments of my life.

"There's nothing you can say," he injected. There was nothing in his voice. No emotion whatsoever. It was a stranger's voice, not the voice of my brother.

"I was not going to stand by and watch them ruin his life," I said, imploring him to understand. More than that: I realized that I was still, after everything, trying to make myself understand.

"So, instead, you ruined yours _and_ his," said the Al Bhed through the dark. "But I'm not going to let you ruin Rikku's or mine. You want _me _to grow up!?" he said, "Consider it done. Rikku and I planned to stay one more night, but after that: it's over. I'll you're your secret, because after tomorrow you won't be any concern of mine. After we leave I want you out of my life, out of hers, and out of our child's."

"G-Gippal..." I gasped, watching him go but unable to believe it. "Gippal, wait!"

"No!" he snapped. "I mean it, Paine. This hurts me too, but there are just some things even I can't look away from."

"You can't do this to me!" He had disappeared behind the trees. "She's my friend! Damn it, Gippal, she's my best friend! Don't you do this to me! You can't do this...!" My knees sank to the ground and I knelt in utter disbelief. Not even half an hour ago I had been standing in this very spot, arm in arm with Baralai. I had been as happy as one could be, considering...

What had I expected, really? Had I thought that maybe, somehow, he would magically understand? "Of course I get it, Doctor P, you two're in love. That's all that matters." Maybe not those words exactly, but I had had hope.

Hope.

"If you're a girl..." my fingers were cold against my stomach, "... I think that's what I'll name you." A cold laugh issued from my throat, mingled with a choked sob. "Yeah, you'll be glad to know mom has a sense of humor for a cold hearted bitch...! She must get it from your grandmother... What kind of person names their daughter Paine? But I must say... grandma sure was damn accurate."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Sleep did not come easily. But I managed at least one hour or so. However that one hour was anything but restful. And morning could not have come sooner. I was one of the first up, besides Lulu. The moment she saw me she did not waste time in asking: "Did you have a nice night?"

"Not really."

"Well, I didn't really expect you to," she replied with a smile.

"Gippal knows," I told her.

"What? How did he find out?"

"Does it really matter?" I was too ashamed to give too many details about what had happened last night. "He knows and he's pissed at me for it, that's all I care about right now."

"I'm sorry, Paine," said Lulu. I felt something brush against my leg and looked down quickly. Vidina had scuttled over to us and was pulling on his mother's skirt. "Oh, what are you doing up?" Lulu chuckled, bending over to pick up her son. "Hmm? What are you doing? Where's you're father?"

"He's probably still asleep," I mumbled.

"I don't doubt it," she laughed. "Hey, would you like to hold him?" Vidina was reaching out his hands to me, his eyes bright and curious. But I shook my head.

"No offense, but I'm not ready for all those maternal instincts to kick in just yet." I allowed the boy to grip my finger, and even smiled at him. "Maybe later."

"Those instincts kicked in a long time ago," Lulu told me, again offering me the child.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Now if I told you I would ruin my fun. Sorry to leave you like this but I have some stuff I must attend to." The mage turned away and waltzed back towards her hut, with her son peeking over her shoulder at me. He waved. I waved back halfheartedly.

Now, what to do? No one else was up just yet. What was there to do on this island?

I decided to go back to the airship. Buddy was always awake this early, so he let me in when I called. My bed on the airship seemed softer than the bed in the temple, but that was probably just my imagination. I found myself staring up at the ceiling, daydreaming.

"Paine!" My eyes snapped open. Shinra was sitting at the foot of my bed. He was not wearing his mask, which made me think he had just woken up. "You were talking in your sleep," he told me.

"Odd," I breathed, sitting up, "I didn't realize I was asleep."

"Oh you were," Shinra insisted, "for about an hour." He smiled at me. We both sat with our legs crossed, the way we usually did when Shinra wanted me to talk to him. Usually he would ask me a question and I would answer it, then I would ask him one question and he would answer it, then the process would begin again until he got bored with it.

"What are you doing here?" I began the conversation.

"Well I was busy down at my station working on some new glitches in the Besaid comsphere network when I decided to come check on you," he replied. "Why were you mumbling Gippal in your sleep?" Gippal?

"We had a fight," I said truthfully. That was all I said.

"About-"

"Wait a second, kid, it's my turn." Shinra folded his arms in a huff. "Why are you so curious about my life?"

"Because you seem unhappy," he said. "I don't want you to be unhappy, Paine."

"Come here," I beckoned him. He shuffled across the bed and threw his arms around my neck. "You're a good kid," I said, hugging the boy. "You're so smart, but you're still just a kid. You shouldn't have to worry yourself over me. But, for the record, I do appreciate it. Just don't tell anyone I said that, okay?" I joked.

"Of course not."

0o0o0o0o0

I decided to pass the day by hiking across part of the island. Baralai had offered to join me, saying he would have liked to see it too before he and Emi left at the end of the week. Under any circumstances I would have agreed, but Gippal was watching us closely while we talked. So, instead, I asked Rikku and Yuna to come along. Rikku's fiancé tried to stop her, but was unable to give a good enough reason.

Yuna led the way, starting at the beach. As we traveled, Rikku struck up a rather awkward conversation. "It's so weird to think, isn't it Yunie? We're both going to be mothers!"

"I've had a month to get used to it," Yuna replied, smiling. "But yeah, I understand what you mean." I followed behind them, resisting the urge to join in the conversation. What was so strange was that all three of us were feeling the same things.

We moved through the brush, cutting ourselves a makeshift path as we went. "But what worries me," Rikku continued, "is that I'm only eighteen. Don't you think I'm too young?"

"I would normally say: hell yeah," I told her. "But after all you've been through... doesn't this seem like the next step? The next big adventure," I sighed, climbing a small cliff. "Don't you agree, Yuna?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking," the woman agreed. "It makes sense, doesn't it, Rikku?"

"I guess," Rikku shrugged. "Yeah. I mean: I've always wanted to be a mother. And Gippal and I are in love..." She did not sound so convinced about the whole mothering thing. In my opinion: yes, she was much too young. But so was I. "Do you want to be a mother, Dr. P? One day?"

"One day," I mumbled, turning to help her up the same cliff.

"You know, I always thought it would be cool," said Yuna, "if you were with Baralai." I stared at her, thinking at first that her words were my imagination.

"What?"

"You know, we're all a group, aren't we? There's Lulu and Wakka, Gippal and Rikku, Tidus and I, and then there's Leblanc and Nooj. I just thought: if you and Baralai got together it'd be this cool little thing."

"Yeah," Rikku added, "but 'Lai's too much of a softy for Paine!" She made to elbow my stomach, but instinct made me put out a hand to stop her.

"You think so?" I laughed, shrugging it off. "I guess we will never know."

"Emi's a good girl though," Yuna admitted as we pressed on. We decided to leave that particular topic at that.

"I hear a waterfall," Rikku chirped after a few minutes of silent walking.

"Yeah, it should be somewhere up here," said Yuna.

"I... hear something," I whispered, grabbing Rikku by her wrist. "But I don't think it's a waterfall..." We were being followed.

"I hear it too," Yuna whispered. She stood with one shoulder to mine, and Rikku followed suit. The click of Yuna's pistols rang out in the silence. "Tidus! Gippal?! This isn't funny! Come out, right now!"

"Maybe it's a fiend," Rikku suggested.

"Do you really think that?"

"No... but I'm being optimistic, Paine!"

My sword was already drawn, as were Rikku's knives. Yuna had her weapons cocked and raised. All three of us listened intently, but heard nothing.

"Do you think they're gone?" I whispered. The words were not even passed my lips when I saw the bomb roll onto the grass a few feet in front of me. Smoke quickly unfurled all around us. Then came the explosion at my back.

"Run!" Yuna's voice commanded. I tried to stop them, but Rikku was gone. While I tried to follow them through the smoke I heard another explosion, this one much closer.

"Whoa! Help!"

"Rikku..." I panicked. My free hand searched my belt for my comsphere. "Yuna!" I called. "You alright!?"

"I'm alright! Where's Rikku!?"

"Rikku!"

"Over here! Hurry!" I followed her voice, struggling to contact Shinra at the same time.

"Shinra! Shinra can you hear me!? Keep talking Rikku!" Another explosion occurred at my left. By now I could hear the roar of flames.

"I found her!" My heart skipped a beat. She was safe! "Shinra!"

"_Paine? Paine is that you?_" There was something wrong with the connection. But that did not matter, as long as he could hear me. Two more bombs exploded in front of me.

"We're on Besaid!" I yelled over all the noise. "We're under some sort of attack!"

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_Well, I guess you'll have to wait another year! _

_Of course you know I'm joking. Maybe._


	7. Fight

_Anyone reading this has DarkenedPetals to thank for it… or not, that's your choice. On we go:_

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"If anything happens to her, Paine, I swear to Yevon I'll make sure you go down for it…." Gippal did not look at me when he said this. He kept his face turned towards the wall, beating against it with his fist.

As if I did not feel bad enough….

We had found Rikku too late. She had fallen into the shallow water below, broken her legs in the process… hit her head. The smoke cleared and the people that attacked us fled. I could not understand what had happened, or why. Who would do something like that?

Gippal did not seem to care much about _who _did it. He was too worried about Rikku, and of course his child…. I still could not wrap my head around it. Rikku's question – about whether or not it was too soon for a baby – still rang in my head. And the small, overprotective part of me still felt that Gippal took advantage of her. It was a terrible though. I knew they loved each other, but still… this was no longer a world of perpetual Sin. 'Next adventure' – what was I thinking? I should have told her the truth…. Maybe this was Yuna's next adventure, but Rikku… what happened to her not wanting to settle down so soon?

Now Emi, Yuna and Lulu were trying to treat her. Emi had been the first to find me and the first to offer her help. There was nothing she could do alone, however, even though she tried. But she stayed by Rikku's side and mine as we waited for more help to come.

"She's going to be fine," I whispered.

"What happened out there!?" Gippal snapped.

"I already told you."

"Paine!" I looked over my shoulder, towards the lift at the opposite end of the hall. Shinra was already halfway to me by the time I noticed it was his voice I had heard. "You're okay!"

Gippal scowled as the boy threw his arms around my hips. His head hit against my stomach and I jerked. "Hey, kid… thanks for your help. We would have been sitting ducks without you…."

"You shouldn't have gone out there in the first place—"

"Give it a damn rest, Gippal…. Just for now," I hissed, prying Shinra's arms from me and squatting down to his level. "How're things topside?" I asked, pointing up in the direction of the bridge. "Any headway on who did this?"

"None. I'm sorry, I – I tried, but there was nothing – something jammed all of my signals…."

"Hey, don't worry about it," I managed a light laugh. "You tried your best."

"I should have figured it out," he insisted. "Rikku could have—"

"Shush," I patted his shoulder. "Why don't you go in there and see if they need your help?" I jerked my thumb over my shoulder to the door of the cabin. Shinra looked, then turned back to me and shook his head.

"I'm going to try again. If I had tried my best – I would have found who did this," he said, as firmly as he could manage. He turned on his heel and scurried back to the lift without another word.

"I have to admit…" Gippal began, "you do know how to handle the kid."

"Gippal…" I sighed. The thought had been in the back of my mind since the smoke had cleared and I saw Rikku lying at the base of the cliff. I felt _guilty_, like this _was _really my fault. "This wasn't an accident…."

"I know that."

"I'm sorry. You're right: I did this to her."

"Paine… I still care about you," he said, but he still did not look at me. "I'm just worried about Cid's girl…. I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to her."

"I'm sure she felt the same way about you when you wanted to be a Crusader," I joked, sitting down and leaning against the wall. "But, you know: that's how I feel about Baralai too. That's how he feels about me."

"If he did… he wouldn't stop – he wouldn't let anything stop him from being with you." I could not see his face but I heard the anger that was probably plastered all over it.

"He hasn't – he doesn't love her—"

"But he _stayed_."

"I thought you were supposed to be mad at me," I said. "You know what would happen without Baralai. Nothing good."

"Then break up with him."

"I won't do that…."

"It's stupid."

"I know."

"That doesn't make sense!" He slammed his fist against the wall for what was probably the hundredth time. "You're supposed to be the smart one, Dr. P. You're supposed to do everything right, no matter what it does to you. That's how you are. You're not planning to live your life like this. It's not – _right_. Something will change."

"New Yevon won't need him forever," I insisted. "We'll figure something out, but we have to wait…." It was a lie. And I wanted to believe it.

"You shouldn't stand around waiting! You should be doing something about it! _You_ don't just rely on everyone else. This is your fight. So fight, Paine."

"I thought you said, last night, that—"

"Forget all that," he waved his hand. "Forget whatever I said."

"I'm not sure I can," I began as the door to the cabin slid open. It was Yuna. Her face was grave but her eyes were hopeful.

"She's going to be fine… we hope," she breathed. "But, Gippal…."

"The baby?" he asked, turning to her. But he knew. We both knew.

"There – there was no baby," Yuna gasped. "It was… there was no sign of a child."

"What!?" we both said at the same time. Gippal took her by the shoulders. "What the hell is that supposed to mean!?"

"Rikku was never going to have a baby. She wasn't pregnant. She never has been."

"Are you sure!? She – She checked! We checked—"

"Gippal…" I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry." But I was not sure that I was telling the truth.

"It must have been a false-positive…" Yuna told him. "I'm sorry too."

"How's Rikku holding up?" I asked.

"Lulu and Emi are with her now. Do you want to see her?" she asked us both.

"Gippal, you go ahead," I nudged him forward. "I'm going up to the bridge." With my hand still on his shoulder I squeezed it and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "You're – You have a point. Thank you." This was the brother I knew. This little spat was more reminiscent of the ones we had had in the past. But he did not realize that I was the one stopping Baralai. I was the one who told him he needed to stay – that he needed to be Praetor to keep New Yevon in line….

If only I could have been the one they chose for him. But I thought I knew why I was somehow ineligible. They must have known what I was – a bastard – and who my father was. As powerful as he was, he had gone against Yevon when he refused to marry the one they chose for him. That was not much of an example to set. New Yevon would not want a disobedient monk's illegitimate child at the top with their leader.

The red alert lights began to flash and Buddy's frantic voice boomed over the intercom. "Gullwings! Everyone, get up here! Now!" Yuna and I exchanged quick looks.

"I'll stay here. Go, it sounded urgent," Gippal insisted, pushing me away. I took hold of Yuna's arm and together we ran to the lift. She was fighting tears; I could see them form before she wiped them away.

"Maybe they found who did this…" she gasped as I slammed the button for the bridge until the doors finally shut.

"Yuna – are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"And—"

"I'm really pregnant," she laughed a bit.

I said nothing.

We both rushed into the bridge. Only Wakka and Tidus were missing. Buddy, Brother, Shinra, and Baralai were standing around Shinra's console, but they were all staring towards the front of the ship and the image projected onto it.

"What's going on?" Yuna asked as we descended the stairs. I did not look at Baralai, but moved closer to the screen. It was not a picture, it was a video feed. It was of Besaid!

"Someone hacked into our systems and started playing this!" Shinra exclaimed. "I deciphered the code stamped on it: it's comsphere footage from last night. But I don't understand why anyone would send it to us…."

I knew. And, from the ashen look on his face, so did Baralai.

"Turn it off!" I gasped.

"I can't."

"Try again!" I seemed to lose all control of myself. Before I realized what was happening I had picked up the closest thing I could find and had started for the console, ready to beat it until it broke, but Baralai caught me around the waist.

"Stop, Paine!"

"No – Baralai, I – I won't… not like this…. They can't find out like this." He stared me down without having to say a word, and I fell back, throwing the pipe in my hand away with a clatter.

"Paine, what's wrong?" Buddy asked.

But it was too late to stop it. "Baralai – that was you. You just walked by the screen," Yuna pointed.

"I guess I did…" he whispered.

"And that's – that's you, Paine!"

"_Ceq suhdrc!_" I clapped my hands over my ears, trying to block out the voice. I did not want to have to hear it again. I could feel the eyes turning to me even with my own tightly shut.

I waited. It was muffled but I could hear my own voice yelling after Gippal as he left. I wanted it to stop there, because I knew what was coming next…. Stealing a glance up at the screen I saw myself on my knees – nothing but a blurred figure in the dark. But I did not move. The footage stopped itself just before I turned my attention to the unborn child I carried. But it was not enough for me to breathe a sigh of relief that that secret, at least, remained just that.

"Yevon…" Yuna's face was one of pure horror. Her hands were clasped together over her mouth, and she just stared, wide-eyed, at the Paine she did not know. The one no one knew. That coldhearted bitch. That one moment of weakness – the one moment I was happy no one saw – had been seen by everyone. "I don't… I don't believe it."

"Really? I do."

In my mind I had expected it. I knew that it _had _to happen that way – it was such an obvious coincidence. I heard the sound of Lulu's belts shifting as she moved her feet in unease, and the sound of soft footsteps walk slowly into the room.

I did not even look around at Baralai's _wife_. Not at first. I did not look at anyone, not even 'Lai. But I knew everyone was looking at me still – one of me, at least.

"What? You're really not going to say anything, Paine? You're just going to stand there and act like this isn't happening?"

I knew who sent the sphere. I knew who attacked me. They _were _after me. They knew. They knew everything about me now.

"Emi, please, I'm sorry I hurt you—" Baralai began.

"Oh, don't bother," Emi laughed. It was so unlike her. At last I looked up, because I had to see her face to know it was really her. She leaned over the railing, smiling bitterly as she stared down at her feet. "I'm not hurt. But I hope you don't think that this changes anything, because unfortunately, my _dear_, as much as we all want it to: this changes nothing." And her eyes flicked up to meet mine, with no emotion whatsoever. "I'm afraid they're not going to allow that."

I did not feel the way I thought I would. I was not scared. I glared back at her, Gippal's words alive in my head. _Fight_. There was nothing – no New Yevon, no stupid rules, and no countless reasons – to hold me back now. They were all gone. Forgotten. Useless. I was a fighter and always had been. New Yevon wanted to try and take my life away from me, even going so far as to attack a summoner and her guardian – my best friends, but I was not going to go down so easily. Not without a say. I was through with being stupid.

I had not wanted anyone to know, but now everyone did. And I did not care.

* * *

_It's just the hormones talking. Happy summer, everyone. _


End file.
